I’m quitting this site.

More information later.

force-7:

Found these earlier and love the idea. I wonder how successful it was. 

(via commonplacerfollowshisbrush)

holdonmagnolia: Annie Dillard

holdonmagnolia:

Annie Dillard

(Source: theoryoflostthings, via commonplacerfollowshisbrush)

21

liferitenow:

  1. So I’ve been looking for a job since recently.  My thing was that I couldn’t really look for a job for a while, since I had my roommates and all my “friends” breathing down my neck, asking me all these questions, trying to do what they call, “keeping me accountable”.  I felt smothered and suffocated.  I told them this.  I said, “Hey, can’t operate with all the questions.”  And I told them that I felt smothered.  I asked them to give me room to breathe.  I am an independent person, and I don’t like being treated like a dependent person.  This means, I like space.  I am quite aware what scripture says about keeping people accountable.  I am aware.  That’s one of the many things the body serves to do.  I know.  I really do.  I know that I need to be held accountable.  I also know when I need what I need.  I don’t have someone telling me when to breathe, when to eat, when to drink water, when to take a bath, or even when to get in the Word.  If I need to be held accountable for something, I will make it clear.  It’s up to me.  I have the Holy Spirit for a reason.  It makes no sense that someone would come up to a fully grown adult and tell them not only that they need something (especially when said adult is already in the know about that information), but also when they need it.  I also understand that they’re doing what they call “walking in love”.  This cannot be true, even if they believe it to be.  God is Love, and yet He never forces Himself upon people.  Never.  Not ever.  Thus, it is unloving to force yourself on people.  Understood?
  2. I went to my parents’ for Thanksgiving.  It was a good time, and I really enjoyed it.  I even got to spend a bit of time with my brother.  We had fun, played video games.  I guess I kind of did his thing.  But it was a good time.  I even got to see my uncle.  He was cool.  Chill.  I could tell that he really didn’t want to be there though.  It was less because of his dislke for us, and more about the way my family talks about him behind his back.  He made a few mistakes in his family, and had no support coming out of it.  He has been made well aware that my family does not love him and doesn’t support him in anything (myself not included, since, concerning my uncle, I’m usually the last to hear about it), and thus, he’s probably still making the same mistakes.  I really think he’s trying though.  I bet it feels really lonely.  I need to pray for him.  I don’t think he likes where he’s at.  And I’m not proud of my family at all for putting him there.
  3. My last roommate is going behind my back and talking about me to my roommates now.  It gives me this entirely unpleasant feeling, mostly because I don’t agree with the choices my roommate has made in the several months I’ve known him.  But also because I can’t tell if he’s lying about me or not.  I usually wouldn’t care anyway, since I’ve basically gotten over all the problems this man has caused (not that they were ever as substantial as I made them out to be in my own mind), but I know almost everything—if not, actually everything—that he’s said about me, and still, I can’t remember if it’s true or not.  It’s like I legitimately have two different sets of memories of different things happening.  And the part with the telling is just so foggy altogether.  I suppose if I really went through it, I could come to a conclusion.  But I don’t want to go through the tearing again.  All this ripping, ousting, and gouging.  All that removing.  I already did that for the same set of issues a long time ago.  I thought deliverance for that was over.  I’m done.  I’m not going to do the same thing over and over again, and expect to benefit.  I haven’t seriously benefitted from  I guess it’s worth a try.
  4. I’m free to look for a job now.  So at least there’s that.  I’m doing applications, and filling them out, and going out and asking people questions.  All those things I couldn’t do without being able to breathe.  But finally, I cracked down.  My one roommate (who’s actually the owner of the house), started pinning me into a corner on this one point about me being some pickled old liar… ‘la-da-da, you’re untrustworthy, la-da-da, I don’t believe you, la-da-da, you’re a liar, la-da-da….” and so I caved, and I started going off.  I know I shouldn’t have done that, but I didn’t get violent or anything.  Just sort of stormed off and started screaming, “I don’t believe you.  I don’t believe you!  It’s impossible to believe you.  You’re not real!  You don’t exist!  You’re a dream!  An idea, an apparition, a colour, a figment!  You’re as a picture!”  And I did all this while running up the stairs of the two level house, running up, and up, and past the kitchen.  I ran down the hall, opened the door, and into my bedroom, shutting the door (rather loudly) behind me.  I stayed there.  Didn’t really come out much the rest of the nite after that incident occurred.
  5. The next day I texted him while he was at work.  Eventually, it got to the point of him telling me, via text, “….It doesn’t matter to me.  I am only keeping on you about it because it’s for your benefit.  Whether or not you apply for a job is up to you.  It’s your life….  You ask for us to keep you accountable and get upset when we do.  So from here on out I am no longer going to do that.”  My reply: “Okay.  Thanks.”  That was the last time I ever texted either one of my current roommates.
  6. Just asked Melissa about the apartment situation.  Haven’t heard anything back yet.

4

Hey, ya’ll everybody!

So, I’ve been away, like, I guess… for a while.  And I want to update on what’s been going on.  Just because I want to.  Not because I think that anyone around cares.  Because they don’t.  I know Jesus does, and all that.  But since He’s God, He’s supposed to care, rite?  I mean, He made me, and He saved me.  He died and rose again.  For me.  That’s awesome.  Nobody else ever did that, or ever will do that.  So, to say the least, I’m ultra grateful, and I will live every day for my King.  Don’t get me wrong.  But I’d like someone to legitimately care and love someone other than themself (i.e. myself) when they aren’t expected to.  That would be awesome.


HEY PEOPLES…. Just thought you should know

I started a new blog.  I’ll still probably come and do this one.  I guess this is my personal one, where I sort of just post anything.  Even though it started out as my weird Tumblr writing project.  You can check out my other blog though, if you’d like.

 It’s basically just photography.  I really enjoy a lot of photes that I find on Tumblr, as well as other locations on the web, and I can’t really just fill this one with photes, because, first of all, I don’t want to, and secondly, that was never even my goal with this blog.  So, this blog will be maintained, perhaps a bit differently than it has been, but still; and then I will also continue with gottalikemaths.

“Jimmy & Jade Cole Aruthan”while we were awake,then the panic we take.every pill rite from the start.one bowl filled with your parts.all alone, i lay in your arms.we healed it like we were wrong.simple tongues singing songs.drain, clearly, what is self,as though you cannot helpwhat you did before all else.i need you.i do need you.lungs come simply like math.while ants climb from the groundinto your destined heart.can’t you help what you’ve done from the start?can’t you help what you’ve done from the start?all alone, a bowl full of parts.we clearly see what went wrong from the start.we clearly see what went wrong from the start.and i need you.i do need you.i do truly need you.what’s wrong with i can’t do?what happened?  i’m all alone— you next to me.what happened?  i’m all alone— this grand scenery.farewell forever.hello, good-bye, never.never was what— this never was what we thought from the start.

“Jimmy & Jade Cole Aruthan”

while we were awake,
then the panic we take.
every pill rite from the start.
one bowl filled with your parts.
all alone, i lay in your arms.

we healed it like we were wrong.
simple tongues singing songs.
drain, clearly, what is self,
as though you cannot help
what you did before all else.

i need you.
i do need you.

lungs come simply like math.
while ants climb from the ground
into your destined heart.
can’t you help what you’ve done from the start?
can’t you help what you’ve done from the start?
all alone, a bowl full of parts.

we clearly see what went wrong from the start.
we clearly see what went wrong from the start.

and i need you.
i do need you.
i do truly need you.
what’s wrong with i can’t do?

what happened?  i’m all alone— you next to me.
what happened?  i’m all alone— this grand scenery.
farewell forever.
hello, good-bye, never.
never was what— this never was what we thought from the start.

(via theclotheshorse)

238
spiritualinspiration: http://www.facebook.com/Dailyinspirationandmotivation

spiritualinspiration:

http://www.facebook.com/Dailyinspirationandmotivation

This is amazing.

This is amazing.

(via kapaulsonnn)

82
“Adoptions with Angels” angel in supreme weather, dancing on my lawn. i remember twenty years ago, as i see you with nothing on. and twenty years i’ve known you, and twenty years i’ve gazed. but this ought to be quite special as we lay arm in arm. disquieted. we walked in the room. social services knew better than to admit it to us too. disquieted. nursing women filled the room. i readied my specs for my eyes, so i could see the boy puckering at you. a gem. a gem of a man some day. a gem. a gem of a man, they’ll say. and when the love comes pouring out of his head, a gem. disquieted. i pulled you off to the side. for then i may have found someone who i would love further than my bride. disquieted. i took in all, every pound. at the feet of God, by the will of God, i lay every last thing down. a gem. a gem of a man some day. a gem. a gem of a man, they’ll say. and someday he too will sanctify his bed. a gem. a gem. a gem of a man some day. a gem. a gem of a man, they’ll say. and when he leaves a new child in his stead, a gem. a dress the colour ivory, angels spread across my lawn. the cold was bitter twenty years ago, and bitter moving on. so as twenty years i’ve know you, it’s been twenty years we’ve aged. let’s let the plans come solemnly and pray, arm in arm.

“Adoptions with Angels”

angel in supreme weather, dancing on my lawn.
i remember twenty years ago, as i see you with nothing on.
and twenty years i’ve known you, and twenty years i’ve gazed.
but this ought to be quite special as we lay
arm in arm.

disquieted.
we walked in the room.
social services knew better
than to admit it to us too.

disquieted.
nursing women filled the room.
i readied my specs for my eyes,
so i could see the boy puckering at you.

a gem.
a gem of a man some day.
a gem.
a gem of a man, they’ll say.
and when the love comes pouring out of his head,
a gem.

disquieted.
i pulled you off to the side.
for then i may have found someone
who i would love further than my bride.

disquieted.
i took in all, every pound.
at the feet of God, by the will of God,
i lay every last thing down.

a gem.
a gem of a man some day.
a gem.
a gem of a man, they’ll say.
and someday he too will sanctify his bed.
a gem.

a gem.
a gem of a man some day.
a gem.
a gem of a man, they’ll say.
and when he leaves a new child in his stead,
a gem.

a dress the colour ivory, angels spread across my lawn.
the cold was bitter twenty years ago, and bitter moving on.
so as twenty years i’ve know you, it’s been twenty years we’ve aged.
let’s let the plans come solemnly and pray,
arm in arm.

(Source: polaroidsinparis, via katsays-meow)

143